Pulling links to old McSweeneys humor pieces, I couldn't help but think of one other classic humor piece when I was reading back through the Unused commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky for The Fellowship of the Ring, and that is The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel.

Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.

Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]

[Cell phone rings.]

Jesus: [hands shake furiously]

[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]

Roman soldier: Jim? That you?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Cell phone rings.]

Soldier: Want me to get it?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel’s blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel’s ear.]

Off Camera: [laughter]

Jesus: Hey, Mom.

...
The Last Supper. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. Judas (Luca Lionello) is seated nearby.
Jesus: If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world—ah, Christ.

Judas: Hateth you.
Jesus: Who’s on first, right?
Judas: [laughs]
Jesus: [rolls eyes at camera] John could write gospel, but, you know, could he write dialogue?
Off Camera: [laughter] Cut!